I saw this article in the latest edition of Senior Scope, a newsletter/paper for older Manitobans. The title is CHANGING THE PERCEPTION OF THE ELDERLY IS A MUST. This definitely ties in with Ageism Awareness.
I will turn 70 this December. I presume that milestone classifies me as “elderly” to many younger people. I get it. I am likely older than some of their parents. I don’t however feel old. Even more importantly, I don’t deserve to be viewed as having less value than someone younger than 40 though this is often the case. Unfortunately, residents in many Western nations including Canada and The United States, often have their worth appraised according to their abilities and contributions to society. Since older individuals (a term I prefer to “elderly” or “old”) have declining abilities and are seen as contributing less to society, we are often viewed as having a best-before date that expired years (if not decades) ago. While it is true that I can’t do many tasks and most sports as well as I once did, that does not make me a deserving punchline for old-age jokes or a caricature of a bumbling, wrinkled, forgetful “old coot.” None of us older individuals – including those of us who have wrinkles and at times are forgetful – deserve this depiction. I am not saying this because we were once young and contributed to the fiscal health of our province and nation. Neither do I say it on behalf of those who, unlike me, are veterans of our Armed Forces and deserve our life-long gratitude. Rather, I make claim to our value simply because we are alive; because we are human; because (for those of us who hold Christian values and views) we are created in God’s Image. Despite living in a time when people are punished for insulting or demeaning others due to their identities and individuality, mocking older people seems to be acceptable – by young people, the media, and big business. Unfortunately, some individuals within two other population segments also view us as less than desired. One is the adult children of older individuals. My job as the Spiritual Care / Holistic Care Coordinator at one of Winnipeg’s leading Personal Care Homes has resulted in me hearing about family members who won’t visit their parents because they want to remember the person “as they were.” This suggests the current state of the older individual is no longer acceptable or desirable. The other segment is the older individuals themselves. Too often they have a sense of remorse or humiliation about their appearance and the loss of abilities including at times, bodily functions. The key to understanding these two groups is one single word. . . SHAME. Many of us, and many of our loved ones are ashamed of who we have become as if it is a character flaw. (Truth: I struggle with shame about my current appearance, particularly the pounds I have added – most of which have settled along my waistline.) It might seem like a laughable comparison, but no one is ashamed of an infant who lacks key abilities including walking, selffeeding, and control of bodily functions. While the rightful justification is that it isn’t their fault, neither is it ours. All that should be asked of a person at any moment in their life is that they do their best. (A quick apology to all infants and their parents who might have been offended by this analogy.) The effort to sequester or hide the issue of aging is in large part one of the prices we all pay for living in a youth-oriented, ability-valued society. While it is difficult to quickly change the values and views of society, this unacceptable prevailing attitude towards older individuals must end. Starting now. This change must occur not only for those who are elderly but for all of society. After all, there are but two groups of people in the world in terms of age: those who are older and those who will be older. Let’s strive for a more gracious and accurate depiction of older individuals – for all of our sake.